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Why A Blog?

Why a blog you ask? Well, to date, life has been full of so many adventures and ups and downs that not only is it hard for me to keep track of, but it would be nice to have a creative outlet to be able to express myself. That is the intention of this blog. Maybe some of you who do know us will find it an interesting way to stay up to date in our life, maybe some of you who don’t will find it relatable, or maybe no one will read it at all. Either way, my main goal is to give myself an outlet that allows me to be able to look back months down the road and remember all the emotions, memories, and adventures. Maybe one day I’ll be able to share this with E or LD. Who knows? The possibilities are endless, and this is just the beginning. Either way, I hope those of you that do follow enjoy the ride!

Sincerely,

The crazy fur mama. ❤

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Sick Leave – 9 Weeks, 2 Days


Yet again, I’ve been slacking on posting. To catch you guys up, I had my first ultrasound and saw the heartbeat of the baby. I’ve been off work for two weeks because I’ve been so painfully sick and nauseous. Yesterday was my first prenatal appointment. I’m measuring a six days behind, which was to be expected based on ovulation, so I’m officially due January 10, 2018! Yay! I also got to hear the heartbeat which was a steady 166 BPM and brought tears to my eyes. Believe me, this has not been an easy pregnancy, and there’s times where I’ve been wondering what the hell im doing putting myself through this, but hearing that heartbeat… our little dinosaur is there and real! And I can’t believe how in love I am! ❤️

Short but sweet today! 

Hypermesis Gravidarum, – Seven Weeks, Six Days

I know, I’m slacking super hard at this blogging thing. Let me tell you, it has not been an easy last two-ish weeks. I have been sick, sick, sick! Morning sickness? HAH! I laugh in the face of morning sickness! All day sickness though, that’s something worth cowering over. I have been nauseous, puking, and dry heaving constantly for the last week and a bit. After leaving work early Wednesday, Thursday, AND Friday last week, and wasting my long weekend on the couch with a bucket, I finally went to see my doctor yesterday. Apparently there’s a name for what I’ve got – hyperemesis gravidarum. Super bad morning sickness. I’ve been prescribed some meds that make me tired, but at least allow me to function! (So far anyways… it hasn’t even been 24 hours yet…) My doctor felt the need to make a joke about how sometimes being this sick can mean twins! Oh boy…. but I know lots of people who were super sick with singles, so I’m sure I’ll be ok. I also pushed them to do an ultrasound for me so I can know things are doing ok with LD, so I go in Friday! I don’t think I’ll hear a heartbeat since I’m pretty certain I will actually measure behind based on when I ovulated, but hopefully I will see one at least!

Hopefully things start looking up from here!

The Bloat is Real – Six Weeks, One Day

I’ve been absent this week on the blog. I intended to write in it a lot more, but I will try to do weekly updates at a minimum.

Firstly, I got sick. Man did I ever get sick. I puked and dry heaved for hours at work, and everyone just assured me it was morning sickness. I didn’t want to go home for morning sickness, but I didn’t understand how people work through this. I was dying. Then the chills kicked in, and I realized it wasn’t morning sickness, it was a real sickness. I spent a day and a half after that doing virtually nothing but dry heaving and sleeping. Once I started to get better, and the regular nausea remained, I realized that yes, this is how morning sickness should be – annoying but bearable. It is definitely not incapacitating!

I have also been on the hunt for all the maxi skirts I can get my hands on. The bloat is so real that I bought maternity button extenders for pants, but I’m thinking I’m just going to live in maxi skirts and black leggings for the most part. No one is going to judge the pregnant girl right? Are sweatpants an appropriate every day attire? Maybe I’ll invest in some of those as well. I’m seriously tempted to go buy some maternity pants already! I wish more people knew about the pregnancy so I could see if I could get some used… oh well. Poor R is just going to have to accept a couple more expenses while I try to find clothes that fit and don’t hurt me.

T-27 days until my first prenatal appointment. I’m super nervous to not be able to see how LD is doing until ten weeks! I hear so many horror stories about getting an ultrasound and there is no heartbeat. I keep having nightmares about miscarrying. This is a scary time in a pregnancy, that’s for sure. 41 more days until I am 12 weeks and out of this scary zone, and you can bet your behind that I’m counting them down! Now, let’s see how much wedding planning and crafting I can shove into those days to try and distract me…

Morning Sickness – Five Weeks

Let me tell you, I want this pregnancy. I want this pregnancy more than anything in the world, but when you’re woken up at 3:30 AM because the nausea had hit, it took everything in my power to not wake R up and make him suffer with me. Why should I have to be awake alone? Obviously, I’m not a puker, so I sat there and dry heaved and fought the nausea and hoped I wouldn’t be one of those women who suffer this past their first trimester. Seven more weeks to go…. Oh yay!

I’m also super, super bloated. I had to break out my “fat” pants and I’m fluctuating 8-ish pounds a day! That has me nervous, because I go buy my wedding dress tonight. I’m ordering a size up and a corset to allow room for LD, but it’s still a risk that has me a bundle of nerves! Part of me wants to go with a flowy dress to allow room for the bump and hide it, but the other part of me loved the fit and flare dress so much, I think I’m just going to show it off. I’ve always been a go big or go home kinda person anyways. Haha!

Peeing for Two – Four Weeks, Six Days

R and I have now told our close family, and our bridal party. I am peeing about 14 billion times a day already (seriously, yesterday it was 7 times before 10 AM!), I’m bloated to the point my pants struggle to button, and my boobs hurt! However, I have no more spotting, which is a fantastic sign and it has R and I feeling much more hopeful and excited! I am craving all the avocado, which I don’t normally like, buuuuuut that could be a fat kid problem and not a pregnancy problem. Did I mention I’m also moody as hell? Sorry R!

Tomorrow, E comes back to us from his moms, and he goes to see his counsellor. We are thinking of getting her to start preparing him for the idea of having a little brother or sister, though we are probably not going to tell him yet. He’s just too young to understand if something happens.

I think even Karma and the cats know something is up. They will not leave me alone. Especially Zuma. Little one constantly wants to be lying on my stomach.

I made the belly photo the other day, and backdated it for the four week mark. I’m going to try to take these weekly so keep your eyes peeled!

The Adventure Begins – 4 Weeks, 2 Days

Our journey begins months prior, in June 2016, when I had a false positive? Chemical pregnancy? It was a surprise for us – I was on birth control but had been on a bunch of medication that month. I’ve always wanted a baby, Rylend didn’t know if he wanted another. We went to the clinic, discussing abortion options and my heart slowly broke, just to be told it was too early for the urine test to pick it up, but they were going to send me for bloodwork. It didn’t matter, I was already bleeding. I never went for further testing to find out if I miscarried. I couldn’t handle the truth. I was broken all month, in and out of the counsellor and an emotional mess. R wasn’t sure how to handle me. I was a wreck.

Two months later, R sat me down and said he had been thinking on it, and he was ready to start trying to conceive. I was certain it wasn’t going to be easy, but he had an unplanned child already and was convinced it would happen with a simple sneeze. Obviously, it didn’t work that way. After many months and dollars in ovulation tests, negative pregnancy tests, tears, and broken dreams, we finally realized something was probably wrong. I could have still just been coming off birth control, but I wasn’t ovulating regularly and I had a lot of fear. It took another two months, but we finally convinced a doctor to start some testing. R gave his sperm sample, and I began the blood tests. I knew my depression and negativity wasn’t helping, so I created a collage of positivity photos around our bathroom mirror, and went in for acupuncture hoping it would at least help me relax. What do you know? I ovulated that month.

The weekend of April 22nd we decided to move up our wedding date. We had a lot of family members we were concerned wouldn’t be around in a year and a half, so for our piece of mind, we moved the date forward. Our wedding was now 4.5 months away! We discussed it, and decided to hold off on further testing and actively trying to conceive until after the wedding, though we weren’t going to prevent it either.

So I woke up the morning of April 29th fully expecting my period at some point during the day. In a couple days I go buy my wedding dress, so for shits and giggles (and partially so I knew if I’d need to order up), I decided to take a test. I’ve taken plenty of tests and they’re always negative. I don’t know what made me decide to try other than a whim. So I peed on the little stick and got up, washed my hands, and glanced over at it. Wait – was that a line? It’s super faint, but it looked like a plus to me. I downloaded a contrast app to see, and I was pretty sure there was a line. I asked R and he said he didn’t think it was there, and I asked my best friend (who was staying with us for the week) and she said to not be so cheap and take a digital! (I guess I should also mention she was half asleep… haha!) So I drank a bunch of water and held my bladder for the next four hours to try again. Longest four hours of my life. Seriously. I had to pee so bad I was practically dancing, but eventually the time rolled around, and I peed on yet another stick, staring at the rotating hour glass on the digital as I impatiently waited for the result. BAM! Pregnant. 1-2 weeks. NO WAY! R was at work already, but as calmly as I could, I walked to the living room and shakily held up the test for my bestie to see, then burst into happy tears!

Her and I decided to get the doctors involved before I jumped the gun and told R. I had my scary experience from last June that was always on the back of my brain. So around 3:30 PM I gave the doctor a urine sample and impatiently waited to speak to him for the results. He called me into his office, and my excitement level began to rise, just for him to tell me my urine results were negative. No way? Again? He asked me why I thought I might be pregnant and I told him about the 1.5 positives I had this morning (.5 because I was still uncertain what the first test was). He gave me a script to have my blood drawn and HCG levels tested that way, and sent me on my way. Obviously, everything was closed by now. So I impatiently waiting until morning. Obviously, in the morning, I had to take another test (or three…) and like magic, they one by one began to show… plus sign… two pink lines… “yes+”. Holy crap! There’s no way that five tests could be giving me a false positive, right? (Yes, I was now considering the first test a positive, though a faint one.) I got ready as fast as I could and ran off to the hospital to have my blood drawn. Now that that’s been done, I have to wait 24 hours for my results. Can I keep it from R that long? Probably not… so bestie and I went and bought Karma a new collar and tag engraved with “Big Sister est. Jan. 2018”, E a “World’s Best Bro” shirt, and a onesie set with the cutest clip on bear soother clip, and threw it all in a bag with the pregnancy test and a “with deepest sympathies” card as a joke for R. Obviously, he was going to need some sympathy with my attitude over the next 8 months! But this is me, and I can’t wait for anything, so when R told me he was going to be home from work until late, I sent him a photo of the clothes and Facetime’d him. When he answered, he hadn’t seen the picture yet, and I sent him off to check his messages. He came back on with the biggest, goofiest grin on his face. We were going to be parents! (Again, in his case.)

The next morning, Monday morning, I woke up for work, and took two more tests. Both positive. However, when I stood up, I noticed blood. It was super pale, but it had me nervous. As the morning went on, the spotting got slightly darker and pinker, and by the time I got to the doctor I was a bundle of nerves. He walked into the office and prepared to give me my weekly vitamin shot, and I told him that I wanted him to check my test results first, so he pulled them up and showed me the screen. “Congratulations!” he said, “You’re pregnant! Low HCG though. Only 35, so it must be early. That’s why the urine test didn’t pick it up.” Again, I cried I was so happy, but I was still nervous. Was I losing it again? He assured me that some spotting was normal, to watch for bright red and cramping, and booked me in with the prenatal doctor for week ten. In my mind, I was so relieved. Why would he book me with a prenatal doctor so far in advance if he thought I was going to lose it? By the time I left the doctor, and got back to work, I had even stopped spotting. I finally felt confident, and so very happy! We were finally going to have our baby! Yay!!!!!